Passing the time in another meeting

Crossed ankles, rocking heel,
jiggling one leg, jiggling both,
the slow fast toe tap,
the quick bounce off the ball of a foot,

sandals, high heels,
Dr Scholl’s, mules,
flip-flops, sneakers and socks,

quiet feet,
left behind right,
tucked in and still.

All this movement,
an extension of our thoughts –
anxious if she’s called on,
or eager to be heard.

My own foot sways,
slow and comforting,
marking time like a weight
on the end of a pendulum.

The woman next to me
eyeballs the motion.
“My mother would have said
to stop that.”

My mother said,
“With all these meetings,
when do you have time
to get anything done?”

Inside a hot flash that won’t

my brain does not
focus?

go ahead, aske me a question
an
easy one
I can’t
miss my response:
huh

through a white
thicket between mind
and thought
comes fever,
flu,
nausea,

the shakes, my stomach lining
jitters, agitation crawling
up my throat

trapped
the room has no air

another thought
sifts
through
the porous membrane: not

flu
stuck in an anxious miasma of
too warm, but not hot
can’t achieve hot to

let me go,
the nausea to abate,
to move on no
crest to this tepid flood no
breaking and ebbing ten
minutes of it twenty
no cooling comfort that

perhaps
this
is the last,
my very last
hot flash. Ever.

I’ve had a million
trigger them with
candy, a glass of wine,
hot tea, spicy Mexican,
nothing at all to

hate the feeling of
scorched sand frying
up my veins, under
the skin of my
arms, giving me hot chills,
sweat breaks out on
my shins, hair dripping at
the nape of my neck, knowing

only one hot blast will
end the faulty surge
I want the worst,
ready to breathe again.

 

Nora’s Lullaby

Welcome, baby,
to end of day.
Time for dreams
to carry you away.

You’ve kissed your mommy,
your daddy, too.
Hugged your brother
and he’s hugged you.

We’ve read a story,
now your head nods.
We say our prayers,
give thanks to God.

Good night, baby.
Welcome sleep.
In my heart
you’ll always keep.

In my heart
you’ll always keep.

~ AJ

Going to the Church of Laundry

Sunday is wash day
separating dark and light,
removing stains and sweat
from shirts and sheets.

It’s not as if I’m prostrate
kneeling on the river bank,
stones digging into my knees,
knuckles scraped on the rock
I use as a washboard.

It’s not as if I’m standing
knee deep in the River Jordan,
proselytizing my beliefs
in the one true God,
or even that there is a god.

If not absolved,
at least clean.
Does being next to godliness
still count?

 

In Spring

I planted a garden,
which means I dug up
buckets of dirt, dug out
weeds, disturbed
the red ants.
They swarmed up
the shovel handle.

I planted a garden,
unexpectedly unearthing
a cast-iron bathtub.
The first homeowner had
buried it in the backyard.
No claw feet.
People always ask.

I planted a garden,
after doing battle
with two cactus plants
standing sentry
at the back door.
Prickly by nature,
they did not go quietly.

I planted a garden,
or at least –
I prepared the bed
for the flowers to be.
I rinsed off the shovel,
ants and dirt and blood
returning to the earth.

Addictions

I consider myself fairly simple in my wants. Unlike one sister who grew up riding horses and taking care of all the attending accoutrements, or the other sister who is an oil painter and so has paints and palette and brushes and easel, my favorite hobby consists of a pen and a note pad with which to write. I’ve written on planes and trains, hotels and hospitals, desktops and recliner chairs and standing in line, and so long as I had ink – preferably black though sometimes blue – and paper, my habit could be satiated.

Pen and paper and a cup of hot tea for morning journaling, a glass of cold water at night – and snacks. Fruit – fresh, dried, cut off the pit or chewed off the core. I’m orally fixated, so really – any fruit and most snacks will do: pretzels, raisins, hazelnuts. In summer a Popsicle. In winter a cup of homemade apple sauce warmed up. Anything to chew. Gum. Gum by the packet, two or three a day.

So. Writing and chewing.

And when my hand is tired and my brain empty, I turn to the TV to take in Blue Bloods, Black-ish, Say Yes to the Dress.

My habits are simple – but I sure have a lot of them.

The Second Sunday of May

If you were here today,
to celebrate Mother’s Day,
I would plant an herb garden for you.

Come summer, you could have
the bright taste of parsley in chilled tomato soup
and quirky lemon balm in your tea
– in winter, a leaf of sage
in your favorite butternut squash.

Year to year, some of the plants,
like basil and dill,
would need to be replaced –
but who doesn’t like an excuse
to buy a new Easter dress?

Heartier herbs go round and round.
You’d always find steadfast rosemary
right where we’d put her, while sweet mint,
that gadabout, would spring up
wherever space allowed

amidst spires of pencil holly,
among the showy iris, rubbing
leaves with the sociable butterfly bush.

And versatile lavender, cool and warm,
would be heavy enough to touch you,
its scent woven into the memory of air.

The Tablecloth

Dyed the hues of harvest
the rich cloth caught my hand
while we shopped the Rue de Cler.

Plum wine and violet,
oranges, burnt to umber,
for years we shared a feast of gifts.

Ripened yellow lemons
and green of lime and grass,
raw but truthful words.

Companions with bread
we would sit at the table
graced with this reminder –
once friends in Paris.

A cup of water

A village woman stands at the periphery,
a jug of water balanced on one hip.
She holds her daughter’s hand
until the young girl, bored watching
the scene in front of her,
pulls free to chase a lamb.

The woman waits for her moment
to slip between the important men
uttering prayers, slides an earthen
cup from a fold in her skirts
and fills it with cool water.

The new mother, mouth dry from
laboring in the dusty stable,
welcomes the woman’s gift
with outstretched hands.

She pushes aside the pouch
of gold, a vial of myrrh,
the pungent frankincense, and
pats the empty space beside her.